Notes Journal
Twenty-First of the Fourth Month, 987a5

Nosing around again in my old novice papers, I came across an old library book that I had checked out years ago – never even cracked! – lost, and then apparently forgot about, shoved in a corner with junk. In a wave of panic I thought of rushing and returning it, but fear of my astronomical bill has gotten the better me, so, I’ve decided to read through it (at long last) and then conveniently lose it again.

The Cardinal Points: A Lesson of Unity has proven to be quite the read! Turns out I had good taste as a young upstart student, and the reminiscence of that me, which feels so long ago, has inspired me to do some rethinking. As of lately I have felt quite dissipated and alone in my new abode and in the foreign style of my Master’s teachings; I was so ahead of my time in my first years and now I am so behind everyone else! (William was right) But perhaps, could it be, that I’ve lost perspective? Let us consider, shall we journal?

The mythology of the Cardines has always fascinated me, the two-faced Holies of the Four Points: Aelya, Goddess of the North; Dathilios, God of the East; Adrinka, Goddess of the West; and Nervuus, the mythic of my homeland, God of the South, my land of Knowledge. It is said that the Cardines were the first humanoids to enter the world, and they indeed are the basis of what is called the First Age. I have read it in other texts referred to as the “Age of Harmony”, but I do remember once seeing it be referred to as the “Time of Conterminous”. I assume this was creative liberty, as it surely stems from Temple Conterminous, the great home of the Cardine Beings. Regardless of it’s title, the First Age was a time of grand unity and a great coming together, supposedly the foundation of the known world. It’s true that much of modern knowledge must lend a humbling bow to our forefathers and mothers of this great, though long elded period, but in this busy world we often forget to respect when respect is due – but I find The Cardinal Points: A Lesson of Unity does a fine job in this regard.

As with all ancient mythologies and text, the truth is not in literal translation, but speculative translation. There are, of course, some who still believe in the literal embodiment of the Cardines, and there are those who continue to even perform acts of worship to the Holies (this is common in the West), but here among the South we have accepted our impossibilities, while holding true to the power of the theological and philosophical, and indeed to the Science, long ago known as the Magic. While reading this book, I was often hit suddenly with the nostalgic spark of my childhood. I laugh as I think of my Fortune Telling Deck. Getting a little off topic, I do remember one lecture I had in my Second Novice Year, where we had a western foreigner come in and talk to us about the Old Art of Enchantments – I remember being, well, enchanted! – as she told about techniques she had witnessed over in the Farland. Back on topic here though, when reading this book I could not help but see the implements of those old belief systems in our laws and morals today. Really that is not hard to understand, but what has come to my attention is the lesson to learn is “within the Cardines themselves” (pg. 34), lone and without outside factors.

You see, the Four Cardines were in actuality, eight. Their most defining characteristic, that of their two-faces (one which faced forward and one which faced back) is a mythos that is meant to pertain to a specific human struggle —that of light and dark. The face that was held forward was said to hold the conscious mind, the part of self that is illuminated, regarded by others, concerned with matters of the future and the above, and is generally associated to the interpersonal. The other half, the face that was held backward, was said to be the subconscious mind, the part that is hidden, shadowed, unseen by others, concerned with matters of past and the below, and associated with the intrapersonal. Only by the body were the two held, forever trapped within the physical, so as to be forced to work as one. This is why the premise of balance was held so highly in the Age of Harmony. For, to be unbalanced, would mean the inevitable enslavement of one of the two faces by the other.

I feel I am suffering from something quite similar lately. I’m off balance, I’m allowing my negative, self-examining part of my mind take hold of my other, more visionary half, and it’s making me a wreck and chaining me to this awful cycle of ironic thinking. It’s time to break free of this, journal. And with spring dawning, I feel now is the perfect time to turn over a new leaf, and turn this Apprenticeship back on it’s head!

…Or, perhaps on it’s feet. Oh, whatever! THE POINT IS, I am going to conquer my nagging back-face, and get myself back on track! Hopefully, by next entry, I shall have something new, and brighter, to report.

Wish me luck!

-Alexandra