“Ouch!” I squeaked, hurriedly dropping the lantern as it landed on the stone floor with a clang.

It rolled lifelessly until it bumped into the wall, then quickly and huffily righted itself, it’s flame blaring into a red and purple fit.

“Why I never!” it exclaimed.

“Shh!” I hushed in my attempt to quiet it, while frantically looking round my feet, “I’m sorry, something scratched me on my ankle -!”

“Is that an excuse?!” it continued to yell, flapping it’s rusted handle up and down, its parts making shrill creaks in the echoing chamber, “Humph! Well, we’ll see if I ever help you again!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry – just!” I sighed, trying to implore my enchanted companion, and admittedly scapegoat, “Please, just calm down. I’ll make it up to you, it was an accident. It won’t happen again, I promise…maybe you would like some fancy new lavender oil, hmm?”