So now they say I am allowed to love you.

I am
Confused by this.

Wasn’t I loving you when we walked
Hand-in-hand

And I told you about the night sky and the
Orbital dance

And you screwed around in that fountain
While I breathed a sort of heartbeat,
Feeling the need to cover you with my body.

And

Wasn’t I loving you when
I carried you up three flights of stairs and
Dabbed you bloody nose and whispered
“Don’t listen to them, they don’t know.”

And so I took you outside to watch
The daylight go, slip into the shadow
Of us.

And

Weren’t we in love, when you declared me
Darling Turtle Dove,
In the pen I wrote my first devotion with,
In the room where I gave you your
First kiss;

Wasn’t I loving you at every
Sunrise, and every finger touch and
Shoulder grip I think I remember

Loving you,

Just right.

Loving you

Exactly how the gods intended me to,
With rosy cheeks and
Laughter
And wild afternoons and tumbling sheets.

They say

I am now allowed to love you.

All I can say is,

“You are all, too late.”